The Dream Team

This story is not written very well, it doesn't flow. That's probably because I wrote it during the debate workshop at Dennos. When I was supposed to be listening to the guy's lecture...

Once upon a time there was a boy named Andy. Andy liked to sail with his first mate Les. Les was short for Leslie, but Leslie was a boy. His girlfriend's name was Megan. Megan liked shopping. She had rainboots from downtown that she really liked. They were black with hearts on them. She liked them more than she liked Les, but Les didn't know that. Les was nine years old and Megan was seventeen. Their relationship kind of grossed Andy out, but he didn't say anything because Les was his first mate and he loved him.

One day Andy and Les decided to go sailing. Megan came too. Megan didn't want to be the only girl, so she invited Adela. Adela boarded Andy's boat (that's what the kids are calling it these days) and it was love at first sight. Andy loved the way the perspiration slid lusciously down Adela's forearm. He dreamt of licking it off. Adela in turn loved the way the wind touseled Andy's long blonde locks. She walked across his boat, called the Mass Debation, and ran her fingers through his hair, all the while gazing into his clear blue eyes. Just then, Les and Megan boarded the boat, thus ending the special moment. They set sail.

After a short while, they came across a ship wreck. Upon closer examination, they saw there was a girl trapped in the debris, as a well as a chemistry teacher. Andy noticed the girl could have been pretty if her hair hadn't been on fire and if she wasn't wearing a purple velour jogging suit. Never one to deny a damsel in distress, Andy dove off his boat and rescued the girl and her chemistry teacher. They came aboard his boat and introduced themselves as Laundry and Mrs. V. Bonker. Right away the chemistry teacher, Mrs. V. Bonker, tried to fix Andy and Laundry up, but alas, Andy had already fallen for Adela so her attempts were fruitless.

They sailed together for a short time, mostly getting along until Mrs. V Bonker tried to commit mutiny. She failed miserably, so Andy had Les feed her to the snapping turtles and ill-tempered mutated sea bass he kept in the cabin below deck.

Much later, they landed in the Russian country of Leningrad, realizing they had gone back in time to 1943. Megan blamed the Bermuda Triangle for taking them back in time. She was right.

In Leningrad they came across two companions called Nick and Missy. Nick and Missy were about to go on an adventure. You see, Nick and Missy weren't ordinary Russians. They were part of The Dream Team, the negative part, to be exact. Nick and Missy, along with Baige and Spencer, were the ultimate master debaters. Together they were unbeatable. McBain, Petoskey, Cadillac, St. Francis and West cowered in their presence. They had magic, until tragedy struck.

At that time in history, an evil dictator was chancelor of Germany. The evil dictator was rapidly gaining power, imprisoning TCC Master Debaters in concentration camps throughout western Europe. Nick and Missy escaped the terror, but Baige and Spencer weren't so lucky. The evil dictator, known more commonly as the Petoskey Coach, had tracked Baige and Spencer down and imprisoned them in Auschwitz. Nick and Missy were on their way to liberate Auschwitz when they met up with Andy, Adela, Megan, Les and Laundry. The group was very eager to help because Baige and Spencer were very beloved.

Just then, a russian named Mackenzie came up to the group with enough horses for everybody to double up. Andy had a little trouble mounting the horse because he was afraid of them, so Adela offered to let him mount her instead. Andy took the bait. While the group waited for them to finish, Megan wondered how they were going to get there.

"I know the way!" Andy gasped between mouthfuls of Adela. Fortunately Andy had visited the concentration camp many a time before for conjugal visits with Spencer. Adela moaned, and finally they were finished. They got back on the horses and were off.

The traveling took several days. The group forgot to pack food, so after six days they pulled a Donner Party and ate Les. Megan was sad, but she had her rainboots so it didn't bother her that much. Finally, they rode up to a gate with a sign on it that said Auschwitz.

Andy took out his pliers and cut the padlock, liberating the camp. Unfortunately, they were too late. One of the TCC Master Debater-turned-guard informed Laundry that she had just sent Baige and Spencer to the showers.

"Alright! Go Spencer! Get some!" Andy cheered. Nick and Missy ran to the gass chambers as Adela explained to Andy what it meant to take a shower at a concentration camp.
"That is so not serene," Andy lamented.

Meanwhile, Nick and Missy arrived at the entrance to the gas chambers. Pero hay un problema! The gate was locked! With his hair looking sexy pushed back, Nick rammed his shoulders into the steel door. As his broad shoulders and perfectly tanned abdominal muscles glistened in the sun, Nick ran to Spencer and Baige, performed CPR (perhaps a bit longer than necessary on Baige) and, miraculously, Baige and Spencer survived. Missy saw that the situation was under control, so she went off to find the evil dictator Petoskey coach. She found her in one of Andy and Spencer's conjugal trailers. Missy and the Petoskey Coach got into a huge debate about whether or not The United States Federal Government Should Substantially Increase its Public Health Assistance to Sub-Saharan Africa. Well, not for nothing was Missy the negative part of the dream team. She promptly won. So the evil dictator Petoskey coach, along with her new girlfriend Rita, shot themselves in the face.

Nick, Missy, Baige and Spencer met up again with the rest of the TCC Master Debaters to celebrate another success and to count up the casualties. Sadly, Aaron Trippe and Matt Madion did not make it. However no one could dwell on this for long. Everyone was too overwhelmed with the death of the evil dictator Petoskey Coach and the reunification of the Dream Team!

They all went back to America, kicked ass in league, and once again the dream team came in first place and got a big, shiny trophy.

The end.